She started ushering Mallory our the door with the food , gave her a good pat on mal’s big rear end and told her that cletus was waiting already . I said goodnight to Juba when she told me about a counter protest that some of the town jobs are going to to include mailmen . She told me with was going to be anti black lives matter . She told me she thought I had some racist beliefs being white even though I’m not a mean person but she said I kind of have to go because my job requires me too. I told her I didn’t feel safe bringing my wife to something like that , she understood and agreed she shouldn’t go . I went to sleep right after she left . Waking up all week long I was so tired cause work was so busy . Lots of people to give mail too . The town was so nice . Everyone was asking me questions . Women were asking me how I enjoyed the town so far and a lot of the guys and dads were asking how Mal was and if she’s bored while I work and k**s were asking if we had toys . It was nice to. I have some questions and I'd likehonest answers to them, OK? "OK," I said"You said when you put on a dress it calms you down and I can see thatit does, but why?" When I'm dressed as a boy, I have a short fuse and I try to be macho,like other guys. I tend to do and say 'guy things.' Guys think they needto be strong at all times and not cry or show emotions or do anythingthat seems feminine. Guys need to be the strong ones, the ones incontrol. But when I put on a dress my anger all but goes away. I feelfeminine and it relaxes me, I'm calmer and I feel very domestic. It'salmost as if I take off the male macho thing and replace it with moretrue feelings. I can be sad, scared and even cry without feeling likeits wrong. I really begin to feel my feminine side," I said."That makes sense to me. But why do you like to be spanked?" "I don't like to be spanked, it hurts," I said."But last night you told me you look for strong men to spank you,right?" Yea, I said that, but it's not really the.
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